Dating Disasters: The guy who tried to impress his date by talking about porn

By • Jul 1st, 2010 • Category: Dating

Ever watched the show “Blind Date” and found yourself yelling at the screen pointing out all the wrong things the fools on the show are doing? Ever sit there and analyze the entire episode from start to finish? Well, so have I. And in that spirit, I have decided to write an analysis of various dating disasters that run across on the net. For the next few entries, I will be analyzing some of the dating disasters found in this article: http:27 Dating Disasters. Now on to the situation…

“Last weekend marked yet another futile effort at getting a date. It all took place at a brunch birthday party for my friend. After finishing brunch, we were having a few drinks. I sauntered over to a table where a really cute girl named Jessica was talking to her roommate and three of my buddies. I thought Jessica was cute as soon as I walked in. This does not explain why I started talking about a porn I had written in my head with my friend Luke. Luke and I are not a good combo. We egg each other on, and horrible thoughts that lurk in the depths of our minds somehow make it out for discussion. With Luke at the table, what should have been a done and done sentence about my porn turned into a full-scale discussion. We moved to another bar, and I decided that my porn discussion had not damaged my chances. What transpired next may have done the trick. At the bar, there were a bunch of beer-pong tables. As Jason and I took the table against Jessica and her roommate, we declared University of Delaware dominion and started sinking shots. With each shot, I peppered them with banter, infuriating them. By the time Jason and I had defeated them, a beating similar to Vikings raiding and pillaging a peaceful seaside town, Jessica was telling me to get away from her. She also smacked me.”

Analysis: OK, this guy starts this embarrassing anecdote of pathetic male behavior by stating that he does not expect his dates to go well- this was another “futile effort at getting a date”. Here’s a tidbit- people who are deeply insecure about something will go out of their way to sabotage their own success.

Clearly this guy has a problem with women and sex. Why else would he be writing porn scripts in his own head with some buddy and then go and tell the next attractive girl that he sees all about it? First of all, we all have fantasies and sexual “scripts” that run through our head. But actually sitting down and mulling over a porn script with another buddy just indicates that you haven’t been getting any lately, if ever. And then the whole discussing porn with a girl just screams of a guy with such unbearable insecurities that he is just dying to scream out to the girl “Look at me, I am terribly horny and lonely, but don’t know how to satisfy my own needs. Please reject me because I am so unlovable.” Yeah, seriously, that’s what goes through these kinds of guy’s minds on a subconscious level. It comes across as laughable and creepy, but what these guys really have is a deep bleeding gash that requires some urgent attention in the way of mental health counseling. This guy even mentions ”¬†horrible thoughts that lurk in the depths of our minds”. Wow.

This guy even states that he does not know why he does what he does. But yet, after realizing that he was still yet unsuccessful in sabotaging himself with his porn stories, he decided that what he really needed to do was go for the jugular- pepper her with insulting banter, infuriate her and destroy her in beer pong- since he obviously didn’t have the skills to “slay” her into going to bed with her.

So what’s the forecast for this guy? Unless he takes a good hard look at himself and his glaring problems, he will continue to sabotage himself with women and probably in most other areas of life. His demand in the dating scene will get even less tenuous as he gets older, gains some weight and starts losing hair. At that point, he won’t even be able to start up a conversation with youth and energy alone. At that point, he will be the lonely guy who ends up going into LA Fitness gyms and shooting up the same women who rejected him his whole life. Look, that’s an extreme example, but that guy who shot up the LA Fitness last year probably started out the same way. In the meanwhile, he will have a few other broken people in his life who will serve to enable him while he is still young and in college and in his fraternity. But in the meanwhile, the cold hard truth is that he will only have his palm to keep him company and the clock has already started ticking.


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