The bonding gene- is monogamy all in your head?By Relationshiplab • Jul 21st, 2009 • Category: For Women
Apparently researchers in Sweden have discovered a gene that has a significant impact on the mating habits of males, specifically their chances of committing to a relationship and bonding in a monogamous relationship. There is a hormone, vasopressin that influences social behavior in males. Studies show that males who have a higher amount of vasopressin in their brain are more likely to “stick around” with women after copulation. This hormone has also been demonstrated to allow facial recognition and other socially-adaptable behavior which promotes increased interaction. The Swedish researchers found that there is a gene that regulates vasopressin in the brain. Males that carried the variant of the gene which resulted in lower amounts of vasopressin also were found to have lower levels of “marital qualities” than men with the regular gene. I suppose by “marital qualities” they meant the ability to bond with one particular woman in a monogamous relationship and to be interested in committing to marriage. In fact, there is a test called the Partner Bonding Scale that scores for these factors. The team of researchers studied 552 pairs of male twins and discovered that the males who had the variant gene were significantly more likely to be divorced or never married. You can find more detailed information about this Bonding Gene study by clicking on the link.
So what does all this mean for you and your relationship? For one, it gives a very compelling argument towards a biological component in the determination of human behavior. Second, and more importantly, it gives you a deeper understanding of why your guy could be gun-shy about commitment. If your guy is full of excuses and just delays and refuses to give you the commitment or attention you need, it’s time to stop trying to psychoanalyze him and figure out how to “fix him” and buck up and take care of your needs first. So if your needs are not being met by a noncommittal guy, he just might be a guy with a “variant gene” who’s relationships are doomed anyway due to his genetic inability to properly bond monogamously with another person. And if that’s the case, don’t even think twice and move on to find the true happiness you deserve.