What to do if your partner makes vacation plans without youBy Relationshiplab • Feb 16th, 2010 • Category: For Couples
Situation: The person you have been dating for 1.5 years is organizing a “Girls Only” (or substitute “Boys Only”) trip to an exotic land, and obviously since you are a member of the opposite sex, you are not invited. What do you do?
Answer: If you are in a committed relationship, i.e. one that has lasted for over a year, is more or less exclusive, co-habitating or leading towards, and with some thought toward the future, then you have to wonder why your honey actually wants to go anywhere without you on a trip, especially somewhere that will produce lots of memories and adventure like a foreign trip. See, here’s the thing: If your partner is focused on you, then they will want to create a life WITH you. They wouldn’t want to have a separate life with separate memories and experiences. No, they would want to create a shared life with you. So, as a result, here’s Relationship Lab Axiom #457: If your partner is making travel plans without you, they are making life plans without you.
It bears repeating:
Relationship Lab Axiom 457: IF YOUR PARTNER IS MAKING TRAVEL PLANS WITHOUT YOU, THEY ARE MAKING LIFE PLANS WITHOUT YOU.
What does “life plans” mean? That’s a good question. But perhaps they haven’t been completely forthright with you. Who knows, maybe there’s another lover in the picture or they are looking for one. Either way, it’s not a good sign.
I personally have seen this situation played out with some people I know. In some cases the people who went on this gender only trip were engaged to be married. My advice for the other people in these relationships? Cancel the engagement and don’t look back. And consider yourself lucky to have missed a big bullet.